Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Badtimes virus

found this one on the net

If you receive an e-mail with a subject
line of "Badtimes," delete it
immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is
the most dangerous Email virus yet.

It will re-write your hard drive. Not
only that, but it will scramble any
disks that are even close to your
computer. It will recalibrates your
refrigerator's coolness setting so all
your ice cream melts and milk curdles.
It will demagnetize the strips on all
your credit cards, reprogram your
ATM access code, screw up the tracking
on your VCR and use subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to
play.

It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your
new phone number. It will mix
antifreeze into your fish tank. It will
drink all your beer and leave its
dirty socks on the coffee table when
there's company coming over. It will
hide your car keys when you are late for
work and interfere with your car
radio so that you hear only static while
stuck in traffic.

Badtimes will make you fall in love with
a hardened pedophile. It will give
you nightmares about circus midgets. It
will replace your shampoo with Nair
and your Nair with Rogaine, all while
dating your current boy/girlfriend
behind your back and billing their hotel
rendezvous to your Visa card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It
does not matter if she is dead, such is
the power of Badtimes, it reaches out
beyond the grave to sully those things
we hold most dear.

Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm
disease. It will leave the toilet seat up
and leave the hairdryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub. It
will remove the forbidden tags from your
mattresses and pillows,
and refill your skim milk with whole.

It is insidious and subtle. It is
dangerous and terrifying to behold.

It is also a rather interesting shade of
mauve.

These are just a few signs.

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

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